2:37 AM
by n0rthsh0r3
Summary: Sara's a mess ever since Tegan left, but she's in for a surprise. Oneshot. Quincest. Don't like, Don't read.


Elegant fingers grazed over the black and white keys, plunking down are certain ones to create a simple and sweet symphony. Her mind is blank, her focus in on the piano in front of her and the soft melody of her voice flowing from her lips. Her eyes stayed on the keys until it became a blur. Then she pulled away abruptly; her eyes overflowing with tears. She gasped, her gasps turning into heart shattering sobs. She collapsed to the floor and screamed, her hand flying to cover her mouth. She didn't want to disturb any of her New York neighbors. She'd lost at she had and didn't know what for. She laid down on her brand new burgundy and gold oriental rug and turned her face into her; attempts to muffle the sobs and screams. Her legs bended at the knees and she returned herself to the familiar fetal position whilst her cries began to die down.

Their relationship had been described as make believe. It'd been compared to Santa Claus. It'd been called a mockery. She'd despised this and she began getting lost deep into a fantasy but every once in a while, she'd slip up and realize how alone she was. She thought she'd be so much better by now. It'd been almost three months. She was going on relapses.

You see, she had quit all the poisons. Pills, alcohol and cutting were the poisons. Everything was somewhat perfect when they were together, but then she had everything stripped away from her. How had any of this happened? Who could tell?

Lately, she'd been going to her favorite bookstores. She'd rip out her favorite pages, though she could afford the books. It was an OCD thing, she assumed. Anyway, she'd take home the pages and tape them on her walls. Her bedroom and study were nearly covered completely.

There was a light knock on the door and it had her up in a second. She peeped through the appropriate hole on her door. What a surprise, her ex-lover. She quickly opened the door; hoping that the depression was obvious. She was long past trying to seem normal, she was a mess and she wanted to appear as one.

"Jesus Christ, Sara." was her lovers greeting. Sara kept a sad, shamed smile as she looked up at Tegan through her bangs. She kept her hands behind her back, for her cuts were visible. Tegan ventured through Sara's apartment after shutting the door. She peered into the rooms, seeing as they weren't clean as usual. "You're a fucking wreck." Tegan then whispered.

She stayed at the door, aching to touch the genetic copy in front of her. She began crying again, realizing she couldn't. "Remember when you loved me?" Sara asked. Tegan sighed deeply, turning to her twin. "No." She said simply. Sara laughed, "Me either." Tegan walked to her twin and looked at her. "I just came to check on you." Sara bit her lip, nodding. "I figured. How is Lindsey? Is she downstairs, waiting for you?"

Tegan shook her head. "Lindsey is in LA." She tilted her head and bit her lip. Tegan sighed, "I came to visit you for like a week or something." Sara laughed, "You trust yourself." Tegan shook her head, again. "I guess I really don't. I just, missed you. Plus, you look like you're high and like you haven't showered in weeks." Sara shrugged, "I'm not saying I'm sane, Tegan."

She knew that Tegan would leave again. She'd stay a day or two, then skip out in the middle of the night. Maybe Sara ought to say something, maybe she should tell Tegan that she can't handle it- that she'd rather die from exhaustion or stay in her fantasy where Tegan stays.

Tegan leans against to opposite side of the door frame and looks at Sara, "I know you're not." Sara can't bring herself to look at Tegan right now. She sighs, turning away. "I need a drink." Tegan quickly grips Sara's wrist to stop her. "No you don't. You need me." Sara laughs, trying not to wince from the cuts. "I can't have you, Tegan. I want you so desperately and I need you even more, but… I can't have you. You won't let me."

"You know that song…? That one by Parachute?" Tegan asks, looking at Sara. Sara shakes her head, her lips in straight line. "They've got a lot of songs, Tegan." Tegan smiles, her hands grip Sara's waist. "No, you know it." Sara blinks slowly.

"They call her love, love, love, love, love. She is Love, she is all I need. She is love, and she is all I need." Tegan sings quietly, her lips threateningly close to Sara's. "No. No. Stop. Tegan, I can't deal with this!" Sara sobs as she pushes Tegan away. "You keep changing your fucking mind and I can't take it! Do you see me? I'm a fucking mess. I'm doped up on pain pills and I spend each and every day crying! I'm fucking done with it, Tegan. You can't keep coming back here and acting like you care, suddenly." Tegan has looked down and seen Sara's cut up arms. "Again." She says, not looking up.

Sara laughs, "Yeah, and I'll keep doing it because it reminds me of you." Tegan eyebrows knit together, "What? How does that remind you of me?" Sara wipes her nose with the back of her hand, then looks down at the cuts. "They hurt, they burn and they sting so bad. They bring me pain and remind me of why I'm in so much internal pain." Tegan shakes her head, "I don't cause you pain. No way in hell. You need me… you worship the fucking ground I walk on!"

"Get the fuck out of my apartment." Sara says, coldly. Tegan glared at Sara, stepping to her and pressing their lips together in a firm kiss. Sara moaned in protest, hitting Tegan's chest. This was not good and this was unusual. Tegan continued to kiss Sara forcefully, eventually she ripped off Sara's shirt and then her own. She breathed harshly against Sara's pale skin and she pushed her on the bed and straddled her. "Get off me!" Sara tested Tegan, knowing that if resisted that it would fuel Tegan further. It did, Tegan pulled Sara's shorts off in an instant and began kissing her chest. Eventually, Sara would pretend to give in and she'd make love to Tegan. Right now, though… she needed to make Tegan stay and obviously this was how.

"Stop it, Tegan! Stop!" Sara screamed, tilting her head back as she spread her legs to let Tegan in between them. Tegan smiled, seeing Sara's game. She laid kisses down Sara's neck and then grinded against Sara. Sara did some more protesting until both twins were naked. Sara pretended to not want this and Tegan saw right through it.

"Stop pretending, baby." Tegan whispered, her lips against Sara's ear as she grinded her sex against Sara's. They were both really close to culmination and Sara wanted to give up. "Don't call me that." Sara moaned, closing her eyes tight. Tegan pressed her lips to Sara's for a brief kiss before she gave one more thrust, causing Sara to scream out her twins' name. "Tegan!" She gripped Tegan's lower back, pulling her closer. Tegan came soon after, kissing Sara's lips sweetly. Sara smiled, wrapping her arms around Tegan. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Tegan giggled, "I love you, too." Sara shook her head, "I wish that were true." Tegan sighed, "It is, Sara. Why else would I be here?" Sara shrugged, "Why else would you leave?"

"It's difficult." Tegan utters. "It's difficult without you." Sara retorts quickly. Tegan closes her eyes. "I want a life with you Sara, I do… I just don't know how."

Sara shakes her head, "Like this. Just hold me, just kiss me, just fucking love me."


End file.
